Friday, August 01, 2008


I don't know why I feel the need to share this or spill this but I am truly a believer that being real with people is the only way to be. I know that as Christians we are often good at putting on a facade that we are fine and that life is perfect and honestly I do 100% feel that I have it pretty dang good, but I can feel in my spirit that I need more.

This summer has been awesome with mission trips with our kids and Jeff did several camps that were great, but I just feel like my mind, body and spirit are telling me to STOP...SLOW DOWN...REST. I am literally crying writing this because I know that I am disobedient and I do the exact opposite.

I don't know if its because I have had mono twice this year or if its the crazy life we lived but I am just TIRED. Physically, emotionally and sadly spiritually. I hesitate even saying this out loud because people are always like wait until you have kids... I know I cannot imagine!

I don't want to sound ungrateful, selfish, or self absorbed. This year has kicked my tail. The other day I went to work out and the entire time I am thinking how I feel bad because I have so much other "stuff" that I need to be doing, clients I need to be calling back, church curriculum I need to be writing, bills I need to be paying, meeting I need to be at, youth activity I need to help with, party I need to plan, shower I need to throw, and the list goes on. I love all these things in my life, but I have found that I am not good at saying no, or now is not a good time. I just kept adding things to my list of things to do instead of spending time to renew me, renew my faith, renew my spirit and in the end would help me enjoy all these other things I get to do.

The Lord talks a lot about resting and I can feel myself longing for that kind of rest. Jeff and I are taking a vacation next week and people keep asking us where we are going. I hesitate to even say it, but since Jeff has had skin cancer the beach is not as enjoyable so we tried to agree on a place that we can stay at a luxurious hotel without paying a luxorious price and somewhere we can do NOTHING. So we have decided on Sin City. How ironic that we are going to renew body, mind and spirit in Sin City but my agenda is to SLEEP, read, have quiet time, work out everyday and just renew my prayer life and communication with the Lord and enjoy time with my husband without a lot of distractions.

So if I have been cranky, short, scattered, flustered I know and I am sorry! My plan next week is to take it easy, remember that God is always faithful and know that he can carry me through the times that I allow myself to get over stressed, stretched thin and restless.

I am cutting myself slack this next week to try and prepare myself for not giving in to every commitment, request or self layden guilt.

I encourage you to do the same and find rest in the Lord, as he is the ultimate example of how to rest!

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